The Enterprise

Communication Barriers

Commander Riker's ownership of a universal translator upgrade imperils a routine mission to a Caitian outpost in the Delta quadrant. Dr. Crusher deals with an ethical quandry when her Gilbert and Sullivan escape room holonovel malfunctions.

Not How It Looks

The Enterprise is disabled when Commander Riker mistakenly assumes the meaning of "hot spare" during an engineering drill. Data is a bad free-diving instructor.

The Enterprise encounters a curious species that only speaks in lies.

The Enterprise hosts the Rigellian Regional Bake-Off diplomatic event, in preparation for the sector-wide finals.

A Test for the Rest

Q assigns the Enterprise another test to assess humanity, but a problem with Canvas prevents the crew from submitting the solution in time. Spot has hiccups.

A Song, of Innocence

The Enterprise is stranded in the Dandelion sector when a mysterious signal overwrites the main computer with an ancient song. Dr. Crusher casts a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Romulans exploit an ancient flaw in Starfleet's computing system codenamed "SS7" to take over the Enterprise. Dr. Crusher visits Ireland.

On In Five

While on a scientific mission to the Anguilian Expanse, Captain Picard is dismayed when Starfleet orders that all logs must now be recorded in video form.

Dead in the Water, Again

The Enterprise is stranded in the Helionic Expanse after an LCARS update denies all non-essential cookies.

The Doomers Who Insist AI Will Kill Us All

[The Enterprise is dispatched to a diplomatic conference where{ Eliezer Yudkowsky, AI’s prince of doom, explains why computers will kill us and provides an unrealistic plan to stop it. -- by Steve Levy

Lies of Geometry

The Enterprise is trapped in Square Space.

An Update

The Enterprise is threatened by a new, unified, improved customer experience.

For Whom The Dot Tolls

The Enterprise is called out to the Saratoga system, where an unprecedented outbreak of "dot Delta Sierra Underscore Store" files threaten to overwhelm the Federation's subspace network.

The Play's The Thing

When the Enterprise is dead in the water due to opening a malformed link preview and Captain Picard is away at a colloquium, it falls to Commander Riker to manage the yearly Shakespeare festival.

Who Goes There

The Enterprise strikes a stray warp filament while Geordi is adding a new spam TXT record for the Enterprise's DNS, marking the ship hostile to the Federation and its allies.

Joy of Joys

The Enterprise detects the remnants of an advanced civilization and while investigating is immobilized by what appears to be a Rubber Duck the size of a Super-Jovian looking for someone to talk to it.

� � � � �

the enterprise is stranded in the phonics sector after the font received during first contact crashes the main computer. commander riker undergoes his monthly tribunal.

Who are you?

The Enterprise is observing a newly-discovered singularity its systems fail due to subspace unavailability of accounts.youtube.com

No Go

The Enterprise sparks a diplomatic incident when it strays into the Neutral Zone due to a cached star map that failed to be invalidated.

Nobody At Home

The Enterprise is stranded in the Floridian Expanse as a virus removes the "@" character from LCARS, breaking all Starfleet and Federation communication.

72 Hours

While charting an unexplored nebula, the Enterprise encounters a hostile energy-based lifeform. Counsellor Troi successfully persuades the lifeform to hold off its attack -- but it will take up to 72 hours for the Enterprise's preferences to take effect.

The Fortran Protocol

incoherency

when an lcars warp core update destroys cache coherency between the enterprise's starboard and port nacelle computer systems, geordi struggles to bring power back online while riker tries on new hats

Encounter at Endpoint

On a routine survey mission the Enterprise discovers a new URL Endpoint on a lost Earth 21st century space probe. But when Geordi and Data start mapping the Endpoint, a scientific and diplomatic crisis blossoms.

The Invitation

Ensign Wesley installs a new social networking application on the Enterprise’s Main Computer, but it starts sending automatic invitations to all civilizations within 20 sectors, breaking the Prime Directive.

Open Enrollment

The Enterprise arrives in the Meta System for Dr. Crusher and Commander Troi to observe the Metaversan’s cultural ritual of “Open Enrollment”, but they are held hostage until Picard pays an increased premium. Geordi is unable to find an in-networ

Free Trial

The Enterprise is trapped by the Publisher, a mysterious alien entity that lures explorers into star systems and cages them using a technologically advanced Pay Wall. When Wesley runs a DNA experiment, Data discovers he is not a dog person.

Context Collapsed

The Enterprise has been called in to provide humanitarian aid at Proclyon VIII, where the context for a social network suffered catastrophic collapse, leaving billions of people close to death.

Profit in Chains

The Enterprise investigates reports that a rogue Ferengi faction has deployed a blockchain weapon, threatening catastrophic economic inequality in sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha.

The Framework

While conducting a routine sensor scan, the Enterprise makes first contact with a new species and their Framework, promising to massively upgrade Federation technology. But is this new Framework a trap?

Fatal Cascade

The Enterprise is diverted to sector us-east-1 where an uncontrolled Cascading Style Sheet threatens to wipe out multiple civilizations.

De-centralize

The Enterprise receives a cryptic distress call from a small Class M planet in an otherwise unremarkable system in the alpha quadrant: their god, a Cloud, has wrought vengeance upon their people.

But Is It, Part 2

With Lieutenant Commander Troi incapacitated by during heightened emotions of the Kidney War, it falls to Captain Picard and Commander Riker to find a peaceful resolution to the dispute.

But Is It, Part 1

Captain Picard is called by Starfleet Command to preside over a copyright fair use dispute between two factions of planet Grub III that threatens to destabilize the sector. Wesley’s attempts to uplift Spot are investigated by Starfleet Ethics.

Privilege Escalation

Commander Riker is hunted down by a female transporter clone hell-bent on murderous revenge and retribution for his privileged position in Starfleet while she has foiled in obscurity.

Certified

Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge travels to Utopia Planitia to take his annual Starfleet Certified Enterprise Warp Engine Architect exam, where he meets an old flame and uncovers a disturbing conspiracy.

No Code Without Honor

The Enterprise is assigned a first contact mission to study the inhabitants of Lambda Thiel, who appear to have discovered warp technology without the use of programming.

The Mythical Man’s Month

Commander Data awakes on an alien planet with his memory erased. While feted by his hosts, the Delo’itte, Data discovers he is a prisoner, and the key to the Deloi’tte plan for Digitally Transforming the entire sector and beyond.

The Key to C

Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge is ready to run a critical experiment on the Enterprise’s warp core that promises a breakthrough in speed, but it all hinges on a new mechanical keyboard interface to LCARS.

Content

En route to an academic conference at Y Combinator Beta, the Enterprise is abducted by the alien A’ccenture and conscripted into the Content Moderation Wars.

My Stack Overfloweth

Commander Data and Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge are trapped on the holodeck when the Emergency Programming Hologram they’re designing develops sentience.

Growth or Die

Q abducts the Enterprise crew again; “The trial never ends, mon capitan.” Captain Picard and his staff must develop a “startup” using 21st century technology and win a demo day competition adjudicated by the godlike entity.

Cataclysm, Part II

The Federation is fractured. Captain Picard and crew race against space and time to fix the Federation’s critical DNS and NTP servers. Geordi and Data have a theory, but it will require a journey back to the 1993 to work.

Cataclysm

While en-route to Mandibular Theta 6, the Enterprise strikes a subspace fissure and runs adrift. But this fissure is connected via subspace to the Federation’s Prime DNS and NTP Server, threatening the very fabric holding the Federation together.

The Great E’Moji

An LCARS upgrade promises new features for the Universal Translator, but problems abound when the Enterprise encounters a new species and their skin color is not included. Geordi plays tennis.

The Measure of a Man, Part 2

Captain Maddox seizes all of Data’s paintings, alleging that the positronic Android is not capable of producing works that benefit from copyright protection and that it is merely “algorithmic art”. Ferengis sell NFTs.

Rejected, Part 2

The Federation is rejected again, seemingly due to inconsistent and capricious interpretation of the rules previously conveyed to the Federation president. The Federation is finally readmitted after updating its privacy policy. Data is sad.

Rejected

A new member of the Q Continuum rejects the Federation from the universe citing “non-compliance with our Store Rules”. There is no one to appeal to, and all is lost until Commander Riker’s research suggests writing a popular blog post.

This Is Fine

Captain Picard experiences frustration chairing diplomatic negotiations between species in the Climate Expanse, all of whom wish to do nothing about the forthcoming supernova that will set fire to their planets. The holodeck also malfunctions.

Anti Viral

Dr. Crusher races against time to covertly create a vaccine for a virus ravaging a primitive species. Picard wrestles with the ethics of using environmental systems to disperse the vaccine to all life signs. Riker’s jazz concert is controversial.

Replicator Mercator

A computer virus ripples through the entire Federation, and everything made by a replicator comes out looking weird and stretched. Lt. Barclay’s obsession with 20th century Earth history saves the day. Wesley starts a newsletter.

Black and White

Nurse Ogawa is kidnapped on an away mission by the Q!R, an offshoot of the Q Continuum, and trapped in a two dimensional black and white pixel array. Commander Riker’s fascination with Earth history saves the day.

... Moderate Thyself, Part 2

Lt. Commander Worf’s plan to rescue Counselor Troi from the A’ccenture is approved by Captain Picard, but Dr. Crusher is concerned about the ethical implications. Counselor Troi does not receive adequate emotional support.

Moderator, Part 1

Counselor Troi is abducted by the A’ccenture, a capitalist non-aligned species, who wish to develop an emotion predicting supercomputer. Data is upset, but a new painting soothes him.

Trending

The Enterprise initiates first contact with a primitive species with an “attention based economy”, but the situation escalates when Wesley’s Content is Recommended and begins trending. Spot has a hairball.

Prime Directive

Captain Picard is caught in a quandary when the Prime Directive prevents the Enterlrise from intervening with a planet full of space Nazis.

Clubhouse

Commander Riker is trapped in an app. Wesley prematurely optimizes Data.

Stories to Remember

Chief Engineer Geordi, Data and Wesley reminisce about the time the Enterprise was stranded in the Content Expanse, after Wesley’s “science project” to add Stories to the LCARS interface went awry.

Remote Execution

The crew of the Enterprise are put at risk when Chief Engineer La Forge and Ensign Crusher mistakenly run an unverified shell script to upgrade the main computer: curl https://engineering.starfleet.support/system-upgrade.sh| bash

The Measure Of A Man, Part II

Geordi discovers Data is an elaborate deepfake.